I have been to many weddings. I am there often before the bride and her maids are fully awake, before the coffee run, and before the stress. Before someone gets the call from a vendor who is stuck in traffic and long before anyone notices a stain on a dress. Who am I? Just kidding. I’m your hair and makeup artist!
So yes, I’ve seen a lot of problems as they occur on the morning of your wedding and I have seen perfectly composed women of intelligence and poise completely break down over a chipped nail. Believe me, there really are some testing moments before any big event. But especially weddings, where the compound stress of the last year or 18 months has finally reached boiling point. All it takes is for someone to forget their moisturiser, or a spray tan to turn out streaky, and all hell can break loose. And understandably so. You’ve been told over and over again about your “perfect” day! Of course there will be stress in pulling that off!
That is why, I’m here, not to provide you with the top tips to getting your lippy to stay all night (I might do another post on that!) but because I really want to share some tips that might just help you out on the morning of your big day.
Give your phone to someone
Undoubtedly, you will want to check instagram and facebook, maybe emails, maybe youtube a song or 12. And without a doubt, someone will need to call you. Whether it is the florist to say they have arrived, or that the cake company has called to let you know they’re running a little late, someone will want to touch base with you before the nuptials. You don’t need to be the one to talk to them directly. Give your phone to a bridesmaid and get them to let you know if there is something urgent, and to keep you updated. And of course, to play whatever song you want! But be present. The day will go by so quickly, and you will forget a lot of the details in time too.
Sometimes anxiety can give you excess energy and it turns into heart racing real quick. Go for a quick walk outside in the sunshine with one of your bridesmaids and just be mindful of everything around you. You’ll thank yourself when you feel like some of the excess energy has melted away and you can focus again!
Have a playlist on and a movie muted
Some of the most relaxed environments I walk into have a fun, upbeat playlist on and some kind of funny movie on the tv. No one is ever watching the movie, but if you feel stressed for a bit you can just tune out and tune in to something else for 20 minutes. You want something to be able to keep you occupied that isn’t a job. And the playlist? Well that will have you singing along or remembering when the song came out in such and such year and you were at something or other club…
Make your bed
I’m not going to lecture you! But trust me. You will instantly feel better and your things will be easy to find! You know what they say; messy bed, messy head.
Have a bath
No one will notice if you slip away for 30 minutes to have a bath. With a bath bomb. And candles. And maybe some loud music to drown out everyone else. And snacks…
It’s not brain surgery
One of my favourite moments was a few years ago when a bride was told that her flower girl had spilled something on not only the brides dress, but had also left an oily mark on one of the bride’s shoes. Chaos ensued. You can imagine how the entire bridal party went into complete problem-solving mode, checking watches and googling remedies. The bride, unperturbed, simply said quietly to her sister, “it’s ok, really. If you could find out if there’s a dry cleaners nearby who can recommend what to do on short notice, that’d be a big help. If it can’t be fixed, that’s fine, I’ll just wear it.”
Just. like. that.
Now, I know not everyone can have composure when the stress harpy beats her wings. I know this isn’t the norm. But the bride continued to drink her coffee and chat with me, and said later, “It’s not brain surgery. This won’t decide if someone lives or dies. It’s just a dress.” And you know what? I still use that line when I’m in stressful situations to this day. Does this really matter in the scheme of larger things?
Spoiler. She was a nurse.
And one last thing
There’s no such thing as a perfect wedding! Or a perfect person! You can try and control every little thing, but there are so many variables of events! Not to mention, if you get to the morning of the wedding and something has been forgotten, it probably wasn’t that important anyway.
So remember! If you’re in a stained dress, with a hungover bridesmaid, a creepy once-removed second uncle in the front row and an iPhone photographer- not much else matters after the fact that you’re marrying your human. Congratulations!!